Life is a series of choices. Every step is a choice, an option, a decision. We try our best to make these choices based on what we know. What we pick may not be based on what is right and what is wrong, but what we believe in our minds and hearts. Whatever we do decide, we have to compromise. It is always one or the other.

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from ntheother. Make your own badge here.

The Glider

The glider: an Appropriate Hacker Emblem

Categories

Banner

Power Content

N.

Selfish: What do you think?, Part 1

We all have a form of selfishness. I would like to talk in depth about this topic, however first I would like your input. Which would you choose? There is no right or wrong answer here.

Imagine yourself in the situation before giving a complete answer. Also, please include your reasoning with your answer.

Question #1:
If you were in a position where you would need to either sacrifice yourself and save many others, or you could save your own life and risk everyone else’s?

Question #2:
If you and another person were in love, and you had to make a choice between choosing what is best for yourself, or what is best for the other person, which would you decide? Lets consider that one of the choices involves splitting up, either one it doesn’t matter.

Question #3:
If you were in a position where you knew something important and keeping it from someone you cared about (a close friend, family, significant other) knowing that if you did tell that person it might hurt them, would you say it anyway? Or would you keep it a secret and not tell, and let that secret hurt you alone? (In other words would you share the pain, thinking you are sharing vital information, or would you carry the burden on your shoulders and be in pain while protecting the one you care about from this information).

Please provide your input in the comments. Also if you have someone next to you while reading this, ask them! I need as much as I can about this. I will post a reply in part two. :)

Regards,
N.

26 Responses to “Selfish: What do you think?, Part 1”

  1. Shale |

    Q1 is complicated. I owe it to my family not to die, and it would be selfish of me to ignore them and die for the sake of others. It is not black or white. I could starve myself to death and save a village of Africans with my money, as could you, but we do not. I think this really must be evaluated by considering the maximum utility decision on a case by case basis.

    Q2: I made the decision that I would not put my career in front of a relationship again, if I was in love. I am not seeking work outside the city I live in at the moment, although it would be better for me to do that. That is not because I am unselfish, though.

    Q3: If I feel it is useful to them, as in knowing it will result in higher utility than not knowing it, then I will tell. Be aware though that if you tell your friend his wife is having an affair you will have lost a friend.

    I think acting in self-interest is the only way to go about things sensibly, but as a cooperative species, our self-interest is often in the interest of the whole, and not just in the interest of the individual.

  2. chikapappi |

    Answer 1, It depends on the situation or the cause, if it’s worth dying for & knowing that my deed would save lots of people including my family or for a certain value to be “alive” & ongoing why not – better than dying in a car accident or burnt alive by fire at least :)

    Answer 2, Based on personal experience, I would have to say, pick what suits me & my family and yes even if it includes heartbreak o agony – decisions made by heart are not always the bes ones :)

    Answer 3, Also depends, if it was someone i really care about o don’t wanna see suffer from the impact of getting this news, I have to droo some hints or try to discuss it in a way to make them figure our something is wrong but not say it – if the news is merely evil o better kept inside, I would keep it to myself and take the suffering myself :)

    nice :)

  3. Ri |

    A1. Unfortunately enough, I would probably save my own life. This I say because I am happy and safe as we speak. However, I suspect one’s judgment is affected in situations such as the one you describe. It is possible to find a reserve of strength and unselfishness that one never thought one had in a high pressure, life-threatening situation, I suppose.

    A2. There’s a lot I would give up if I had to. But then again, there’s a lot I would expect from one I gave it up for.
    Also, I don’t see why choosing what is best for them would be up to me.

    A3. If telling them would hurt them more than it would help them, I wouldn’t tell. Especially if it were my fault. Easing your conscience by offloading your crap on someone else is naive and selfish. What they doesn’t know can’t hurt them. Hence, they won’t find out and I’ll deal with the consequences of my actions by myself.

    On the other hand, if it was something that would make their lives better in a big way, I would tell them. No matter how much the initial hurt may be.

    Man, for some reason, my brain is dead today *yawn* I really had to struggle with this one.

  4. Blue dress |

    Q1:
    I would do both, ya3ni sacrifice myself bes try to survive as well. YES its possible, oo akeed for something worth. ;p

    Q2:
    I would do whats best for myself 6ab3an, unless of course ,doing the best for the other person includes something for me, aw something else that i can find in the others interest.

    Q3:
    I would most definitely keep it, bes also it depends on that other person Ya3ni if they can take it or not, if not I would keep it 3adi…

    Pain is nothing, selflessness is a myth.

  5. G |

    Q1. Well This depends I am 100% sure when u mean by sacrifice you don’t mean by dieing. But If this sacrifice will effect my entire life I will never do it. Otherwise I will.

    Q2. Well I am not sure about this, and I cant put my self in this situation because Love is complicated. But, I would see the big picture first. It would depends how deep I am in love and if I can save this by choosing the right decision.

    Q3. Well what I will do is this, take that person alone with me and try to explain it in a way where he cant get hurt a lot. And let him understand in a way so he/she can take it or accept it.

  6. Laialy_q8 |

    I’d love to answer these but where other might be sure about which side they may take I on the other hand might say something and do something very different in reality… and the world is not that very black and white
    also, sometimes I simply have NO logical explanation for doing what I do, thats what makes me Me hehehe

  7. Sarah |

    Good evening :)

    Q1: can’t answer until the situation really happens!
    It’s like when i was a flight attendant and wondered what i would do if there was something going wrong on board. Would I loose contol or would i face the situation? It happend (we lost an engine and had to do an emergency landing) and i didn’t loose control, i was very calm and in control of the situation. I was surprised at how i wasn’t afraid. (eventually we didn’t crash and there was no one injured)
    When u are in a life’s danger situation, u never know what you are going to do untill it happens! I don’t think u can really plan what u are gonna do, too many factors come into play.

    Q2: no hesitation, i always do what’s best for me in this situation. Kinda selfish, i know… ;)

    Q3: a bit like Q1, can’t answer untill it happens! Everything depends on the situation.

  8. bb q8 |

    1.. save my own life. to be honest, i think that’s what everybody would do. thats only human.
    2.. choose what’s best for me. once again, the human factor.. it’s all about me,me,me!
    3.. if by telling the other person, it would have a possitive effect on the situation, i will tell him/her. if not, then it will do no harm not to talk about it..

  9. MSB |

    1: depends on who the others are.. if ur in a car, and a car comes at you, your first instinct is to swerve away.. without thinking that you may harm others in the process. then again, if i had to choose btwn saving myself or my nephew, i’d jump in front of a moving train for him.

    2: i’d do my best to try to make things work out.. but if i cant, and they’re not happy with me.. then there’s no real choice to make. regardless of how bad it makes me feel.

    3: if it’s not something they need to know.. and it’s something that’ll only hurt them.. then i’d keep it from them.

    that said, these answers all depend on who and what the exact situation is.. responses may vary! :)

  10. eshda3wa |

    1- depends on who the people are, are they people i love?
    then yes, strangers? then no

    2- its never either or, i would talk to the person and come up with a decision that is best for both of us, even if it ment splitting up

    3- if that secret affects them personally i would tell them, if the situation was reversed and everyone knew something i would want to know, and id rather have someone carry the burden with me.
    if i was hurting i would always tell a friend, especially if it wont hurt them too, but it would make me feel better

    i dont think that life is so black and white, a decision has alot of factors to consider, it always helps to have someone help you deal with things

  11. GreY" |

    1. Depends if my life can my loved one’s YES!

    2.If the answer to first question is Yes , can not contradict by saying “Me First eh “?

    3.I have been in this situation before , if you lover her, you gotta be honest , no matter how painful the topic is there shouldn’t be secrets between lovers …

  12. GreY" |

    1. Depends if my life can Save my loved ones YES!

    2.If the answer to first question is Yes , can not contradict by saying Me First eh ?

    3.I have been in this situation before , if you lover her, you gotta be honest , no matter how painful the topic is there shouldnt be secrets between lovers

  13. pearls |

    Q1: I’d try my best to save everybody’s lives and mine too.

    Q2: It would be very selfish of me to put myself before my family whatever my reasons were.

    Q3: I would never keep anything important from someone I care about because doing that will only make any relationship awkward, except if it’s going to ruin a relationship and esp. if kids were involved then I would rather keep that secret to myself, even if talking is the key to any problem. Many situatios really depends on the other person you’re dealing with. If you’re 100% sure it’s going to hurt them then it’s better you suffer a little on my own. Otherwise, I would rather test that person by mentioning that same situation without really saying it’s them, how I really feel about it and see how they would react to it, good luck

  14. Pearls |

    1-maybe right now at this moment i might say that id risk my life to save others.. cuz id love to do that.. but at THAT moment .. i bet ill run my ass off to a safer place :P unless it was my family ;p

    2- id do anything to make the one i love feel happy :D

    3- if that secret would help that person in anyway.. i would tell him/her .. but if it was just something that would hurt them no why should i tell them ;/ i dont think i got the q right tho ;p bas i tried my best eheheh

  15. palo-girl |

    1. well this answer is pretty complicated. it depends on the situation. but i think in the end, that i would sacrifice my own life for the others, but mainly because i wouldnt be able to live with the guilt of not doing so. so again, its pretty much for selfish reasons.

    2. again.. it depends on the situation.. it depends on what exactly id be giving up, because there are some things i cant compromise. and it also depends on the person that im in love with.. if its someone im planning on spending the rest of my life with than id probably give up a whole lot more than if its someone who, even though im in love with, i know that there’s no future for us.

    3. i would definately keep it to myself.. i might be selfish in other things.. but spreading secrets that gets people hurt is just one of those red lines. unless it is more useful to the person to find out. but it needs a lot of studying.. and i would hesitate a million times before telling the person, even if it for their own good..

  16. MSB |

    your blog ate my response! :/

    MSB,
    For some reason it got flagged as spam! It is fixed now.

  17. EXzombie |

    q1. there is no if, I would sacrifice myself, besides, I don’t plan on living for a long time…..!!!

    q2. breaking up is ugly and you would see the real face behind the one you love, on the other hand being the victem is good for the spirit, I would say put her ahead of me…….!!!

    q3. men keep secret better than women, but a the blogger gene is gender free, so no matter what you do, you’ll share the “pain” with someone else and race them to the next victem……!!!
    and since I am now in an open leave from blogging, I keep secrets to my self……!!!

  18. princess |

    q1) i would sacrifice myself, not because im all good and shit but because risking peoples lives would mean that they could die and im not strong enough to mourn anyone, besides i think a bunch of peoples lives are much more valuable than just one which is mine ya3ni

    q2)i would split up with a guy for my own good, i dnt thnk i would for his own good, ma7is im that umm self-less, and it really depends on how deep is my love for him the more i do the more i’ll sacrifice for him

    q3)i would keep the secret to myself, sharing is not caring in such a situation

  19. Peony |

    New layout !! i like !!

    Question #1:
    depends who the ppl are.. are they worth it? do i care about them? kinda selfish, but i would sacrifice myself for the ppl i love

    Question #2:
    if he really did love me, then splitting up wont be an option.

    Question #3:
    when the time is right, i would tell them. it might hurt, but if its for the best, i would tell them. nobody should live a lie.

  20. vyyvaa |

    q1: death scares me, yet losing every one is the most devestating thing i will die any way.. so i guess i will die first

    q2. definitely and always make the harder choice, whats best for the other

    q3. keep it. for sure, what u dont know won’t hurt u , and i wish pple would do the same to me.

  21. Navy Girl |

    1.as much as I know that its difficult to do so .. I will be happy to do it .. I can not live with the fact that someone is mad at me .. Im so sensitive to all people I like to see everyone happy .. so the idea if someone is dead because of me is intolerable .. and I will die right away just for that thought ..

    2.I believe that love is all about happiness .. hence when I see that his happiness is with someone else .. or with him doing whatever he wants .. then fine by me .. when you love someone you just want them to be happy whether with or with you ..

    3.oh Im a GOOD listener .. my friends , my family everyone comes to me for comforts .. and I hear lotta stuff from everyone .. I never sneak out and tell no one .. I got so many things buried in my heart .. sometimes it hurts like hell .. that you cant talk about it to anyone .. or to see with your own eyes that your being blamed for someone elses fault but you just rather say nothing about it .. I guess I try so hard to make peace and see people happy .. it hurts me when I see anyone sad .. I just cant stand it ..

    :D

  22. Chirp |

    Q1 – Depends on who the people are that I would need to risk my life for, if they deserve it then yes I would risk my self. If I cared about them then I would definitly risk my self.

    Q2 – I would see what is good for the both of us and do that. But that is easier said then done.

    Q3 – Keep it to myself. Sometimes the less people know the better.

  23. N. » Selfish: How we decide, Part 2 |

    [...] I want to thank ALL the people who contributed to the previous post, Selfish: What do you think, Part 1. I was tempted to reply to each and individual contribution, however consider part 2 a reply, to [...]

  24. AlleyCat |

    Question 1: I’d definetly sacrifice my life… why? since who knows any of the many people i might have saved might be able to give back to society way more than i have ever given or am able to give. For example: i highly doubt i would find the cure for cancer or any major life taking disease (i’m not being pessimistic.. just realistic) who knows perhaps one of the people i save might be more capable of doing that. Secondly.. i’d die a shaheeda… get out of hell free card :P

    Question 2: If it’s true love, then it shouldnt be hard to decide. If you really care and love someone you’d obviously want whats best for them.. even if its not with u… id rather see them happy than see myself happy… Yes its not an easy decision since you do want to be with that person or vice versa.. but i have been in a similar (even more complex situation) and i didnt find it too hard to decide i would do whatever is in my power to make the other person happy.

    question 3 : hmm you should have been more specific with this one. It depends on the information. For example if it was something someone close to the other person had said about them behind their back.. then HELL yes i would tell them. It would hurt but i believe it is better they know than to believe that individual is a real friend.. But if it was some hurtful news or what not that wouldnt affect them directly (as my first example) then I would keep it to myself rather than be able to share this info with them

  25. N. |

    Thank you everyone for your great and informative, answers. You are all wonderful people! ^_^

  26. Very.Q8ya |

    1. ..

    2. ..

    3. i can be a very good secret keeper, i’ll keep that secret and i will never let my friend know about it no matter what

Reserved, going to add something here later.