Life is a series of choices. Every step is a choice, an option, a decision. We try our best to make these choices based on what we know. What we pick may not be based on what is right and what is wrong, but what we believe in our minds and hearts. Whatever we do decide, we have to compromise. It is always one or the other.

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No Limit, There Are No Boundaries

Smashing Boundries In July, I posted about being who you want to be, and that the limits imposed by the mind should not affect who or what you want to be. Today, I come to you with a different approach to being something you always wanted to be.

Imagine yourself in a small room with gray walls, without a door or a window. The thought is depressing I know, but in this example that is your world. You do not have access to anything outside this room. Neither do you know if there exists anything beyond this room. All you know exists, is you, and the room.

Now imagine you have a television in your room [Note: For you smart alecks, ignore the logical need for electricity, a power plant, a camera.. etc. For this argument let us assume that they are not needed.]. It is on. You can see someone else in a similar room but with a different color wall. You may start to wonder what it would be like to be in that other room surrounded by those different colored walls.

Your need to experience the other room may increase, and so you try to search for an exit. There must be a way out shouldn’t there? You investigate every square inch of the room looking for something different that might be a clue to an exit. You find something that looks like a seam. You dig at it with your nails and you follow through the edge and trace a door in the wall.

The door may lead you someplace, it may lead you to the room and it may not, but you decide you need to get out of there anyway because you are ready for something different. You embrace the idea that you can try to be in a different place.

This is what life is at the moment. Your friends, your home, your job and regular hangouts are your little gray room. The television is all the media you have access to from radios to television shows to magazines to the Internet.

The world is much bigger and larger than you imagine. There are possibilities out there, that have not even been documented on television or on paper. There are places that have not been mentioned in mainstream media (or have not come close to being publicized).

The television shows and programming we receive on all our media devices dictate what we know about the world. If a news article is published about an important event, we are bound to believe it because of trust. However, we do not quite experience the actual event. Sometimes we do not wish to experience them because they are terrible events, and other times they are joyous and wonderful.

You do not have to be an engineer if you do not want to. You do not have to be a doctor if you do not want to. You can be anything you want to be. What is stopping you? If it is your family, then that is an issue you will have to tackle on your own. They would want to wish the best for you and would want you to have a better future. Would a parent really deny their daughter or son a chance at living the life they want to live in accordance with certain values? Would you deny your children that chance?

Change is almost always difficult. The world is much bigger than we can imagine, and the opportunities are out there. There are enough people who need help, there is enough money in the world to go around, and there are plenty of people who would be happy to have crossed paths with you.

Do not place any physical boundaries. There are countries out there who would accept you the way you are, and would allow you to do what you love to do.

Do not place any mental boundaries. They say you can do anything if you set your mind to it. The idea here is that you can do anything you can imagine, however silly or strange or odd or unconventional it may seem.

Do not place any emotional boundaries. This may be the hardest to overcome if you decide to make a huge change. We only live once, only once. You may never have a chance to live the way you REALLY want to just by fantasizing about it.

What you see and hear may give you an idea of what you may expect, but the only truth that really matters is experiencing something first hand and being there when and while it happens.

P.S. Every once in a while I may post a long post. For those who love shorter posts (I know who you are.. I know where you live..) you may take the time to read this in stages. Do not feel discouraged. Give it a shot. If you really do not want to read the whole thing, you may skip to the last 4 short paragraphs.

P.S.S. This is the post I was talking about (limiting oneself) a couple of days ago when I had Nothing To Say.

27 Responses to “No Limit, There Are No Boundaries”

  1. chika |

    Well N. I didn’t skip any paragraph, that was well written man, very good!! Ok, Am not that optimistic when it comes to life & what goes in it.. If I was in that room I would probably give up & die there; This is the feeling I get now from the events that I have been through lately. Work for example: One can be very smart & have high expectations while being goal oriented bas it breaks you when you do not get what you want or at least deserve… so this is an obstacle.. Human greed & envy, Take over power & control.. negativity & unappreciation.. what else do you want me to do??!

    I love your idea & how you endorse people on pushing themselves to ACT & ACHIEVE bas walla bro the real thing is much more diifficult to implement :/

    chika,
    I know that you can get demotivated and put down by what has happened at work. That however is only a single moment in life, a moment that will soon pass. Think about how much you have a head of you and if you are willing to spend the rest of your life doing something that does not really make you happy. Why not try hard to change that? True the real thing is much harder to implement, but why should we give up? There is no reason to give up, just because something is hard. If that is the case then there would be no real reason to do anything we like.

  2. Noufa |

    Well, first I enjoy reading long posts. That’s why I love reading ;)

    Your ideas seems way too optimistic, I think. When you’re a woman living HERE then there is boundaries and limitation. and it would be hard for an 18 yers old girl to break them!

    You can not be the doctor you want when your dad think it’s “7ram” to work around male doctors/paints!

    You can not be the journalist you want when you brother think it’s “3eeb” to work in media

    The way I see it. there’s no limitation nor boundaries when it comes to the way I think, believe and imagine BUT they come to life the minute I go loco and try to live by them.

    Noufa,
    Sure, when you put it like that it is hard. There are some who will never live the life they wanted, and maybe not because they didn’t want to, but because of some other reasons. The simple will to go and do something is far more powerful than any chain or obstacle. The way may be hard, it may impossible, but in life a lot of things can happen that are unexpected. Besides, each person has their own circumstances. Are you having trouble doing the things you want to? You might be having problems, but that isn’t stopping you is it?

  3. Laialy_q8 |

    Hehe, I managed to get through it in one seating. I know how this feels but Family is a bigger issue than you can imagine especially as girl, I wouldn’t think so much as a boy. Me coming home is going to be a change … after that who knows whats going to happen, Allaho a3lam.

    Laialy,
    Hehe! :P Sure it is more difficult for a girl. I never said it was easy. However, the world is out there, and it is much bigger than what we imagine. If an opportunity should come, then why should we turn our backs to it.

  4. Noufa |

    Dammit Chika you’re always the first to comment :P

  5. princess |

    i loved that post wayidddddddd its a tad too out there, i mean its all true there are lots of opportunities, and every boundry can be broken and surpassed but sometimes the price u pay for following those opportunities are just too astronomical (that may be the wrong word but i reallllllly wanted to use it)

    keep that spirit N, it is needed, but its still not that easy babes

    princess,
    I’m glad you liked it! True there might be a price to pay and sometimes it is a very huge price! It has to be taken into account if it is worth it or not. A lot of people are not taking as much risks as the people before us did.

  6. blue dress |

    Beautiful!
    I love it! Very well typed mashalla, i believe in these possibilities, I believe Im an optimist… with the regular pessimistic moments that limit me… the sad part is those few moments of pessimism can ruin years of optimism , hence people really need to be careful… and you need to sound yourself with
    Those who support you regardless.. So you run with full power, did I drift? anywhoo NICE! ;)

    Blue Dress,
    Thanks, and I am so glad you loved it. lol You didn’t drift, what you said made sense and is true! If there are people who support you, then you can achieve even more than what you really wanted!

  7. asoom |

    LOOOOOLLL, you always read my super long posts so I have no problem reading this one!!!

    I used to think like you N, how are you btw? I’m 23 now and I used to think sky’s the limit until like halfway through college and alhamdulilah Ihave achieved alot in life for my age but N, I think you’re really underestimating emotional and mental limits, which is really what happened to me. Ya3ni khalas there comes a point in life where you just can’t handle it, you feel like it’s not even in your control.

    I changed my ultimate plans for myself in life, my “vision” was always that I was going to go to medical school and be a doc (I know I sound cliche but this is the truth) and not think about marriage and family until after I finished my plan for myself. Although I kicked ass on the entrance I had some other issues and didn’t get the acceptance the first time around and decided that I don’t want to go through this process again and to look into other things.

    I did the masters in between and I found an option that looked ideal for me (optometry) but I have to wait another year (this year) before actually starting it, Im meeting guys now on a serious level and open to commitment, Im trying to take things one day at a time and be more humble and realistic about things. It’s like I sat down one day and decided I’m not superwoman and there’s no shame in that, I don’t always have to be the top achiever in everything it’s ok to relax and want to be comfortable.

    So my point in saying all this is I understand where youre coming from but don t but we actually do have our limits and it can drive a person to insanity if they dont accept that they have limits: mental, physical, emotional and thats completely fine!

    I think Im going to post this comment as my next post, thanks for the idea!

    Asoom,
    :P I’m glad you didn’t have a problem reading this long post! You meant to ask how old am I right? I’m 26 and 9/12ths. I understand what you mean when you say that you feel that you can’t handle it! I used to be an optimist before but I broke down and then again I am an optimist. I used to think there were no (real) limits but like you said there are some limits that always have to be taken into consideration. However, there seems to be a lot of people who are in that little grey room, and refuse to even look at the television and ignore the possibilities out there for a better more fulfilling life.

    Where’s the post I’m waiting for it! :D

  8. Missy-TheOriginal |

    I’m too tired and sleepy to be hyped. Good for you if you feel that. I used to have energy and plans, it got jinxed and disappeared. I don’t feel like I care about planning anything. My life right now revolves around eating, watching tv and sleeping- no interest in plans or dreams. Just pass time, otherwise I’ll regret a past that might have determined a better future.

    Here’s an exercise:

    Focus on a spot, breathe deeply for 5 minutes, numb all your feelings, feel it wash all over your body and mind from head to toe, repeat a mantra “let go” “I don’t care” or “move on” or any other thing you can say to comfort you. Imagine yourself drifting away from everything.

    Wonderful…

    Now g’night

    Missy,
    I’ll try that exercise later on when I get home! Thanks for that. So you meditate as well? Life revolved around eating sleeping and relaxing is the perfect life for some. There are people who do not think so, but there are those who enjoy it. Regret is never fun really, especially when dealing with something that you could change. Good Morning to you :)

  9. howahkan |

    Great Post!

    Hmmmm…Daring to be different? Well, we are all different anyway, it’s just some people hide it better than the rest of us.

    I believe a room without boundaries cannot be considered a room anymore but rather an open space. And that goes the same with life, no boundaries in life will just lead to chaos and that’s why boundaries (i.e. religious laws, cultural norms) were placed to create stability. However we choose to place boundaries just like how life always seems to find a way to help us in understanding that all limits are only “pretend” and definitely of our own making…It’s true that you can do anything, and I’m a huge believer of that, and that there are loads of opportunities out there but at the end it all depends on each individual. It depends on how content they are of their life, if they are satisfied with where they are then they will not risk facing any changes. Yet, there are some that do not fear changes and tend to always take different paths. While fate and destiny play some very important roles in our lives, we have thousands of pathways that we can explore in order to reach our final destination.

    Howahkan,
    You’re very right, there are boundaries that are set in life to withhold chaos. The thing is, the law doesn’t really have a lot of limits that stop a person in doing what they want to do (generally). There are those norms too, and values that people have which place limits. I wouldn’t much call it placing limits as much as they mediate and control what a person does. There might be a thousand paths, but it is time to start walking one of these paths even if may not be that shortest or best path of all!

  10. eshda3wa |

    my heart started racing reading this post
    and no its not because i got all hyped up
    although its a very good post
    but i remembered my struggle when i tried to take on the world and do what i really wanted to do instead of what my mother thought was ideal for me at the time, and boy it was intense i tell u
    speilberg himself couldnt have directed a better movie.
    No the world is not grey, its full of life and color and u should explore it, AFTER u take care of responsibilities.

    eshda3wa,
    Honestly, thank you. Sure it is intense, but I hope you did the right thing and are happy about it! Really, isn’t that all what matters? Responsibilities are important, I’m glad you mentioned that. I assume a lot of people do mistake this as a chance to leave responsibilities behind, but that is the biggest mistake o enshalla we will never forget or ignore our own responsibilities.

  11. KJ |

    This is very inspiring. Sometimes though the person is a bit weak (unwilling) to change and may need some external influence to push the person to act on his or her own.

    Thankfully I got that influence and have started to change a lot of things in my life, in three phases. I am doing well and it is a long and thorough process, but I can say I am now much happier than I was a few months ago.

    KJ,
    True, some people need external influence. Sometimes those same people go through an experience, or see or hear something that gets that “engine” going! I’m really happy that things are working out well for you, o 3oqbal everyone else here! Thanks for sharing that!

  12. Intlxpatr |

    I loved this post.

    You have no idea what you are going to accomplish in your lifetime. You will amaze yourself with what you can do.

    No one can control who you are on the inside. You have more influence on others than you know. Power to make your own choices grows as you grow older. It’s a great secret. Life can just keep getting better and better, and you CAN make the changes. Think of this period as growing the skills you will need later on, learning how to deal with people, learning how to get what you want from life, learning what you want from life. I thank God some of my earlier visions for myself didn’t come true – I got the life meant for me. I hope you will, too.

    Intlxpatr,
    I only recently started to realize the power of choice while growing up, especially in our environment and culture. It really is something wonderful. Thank you so much! :)

  13. N. |

    I’m glad to read all this feedback! Thank you all and I would hope this really has a positive effect on your lives.

    I have decided to post within your comments for a more personal and close approach. Also, the comments and replies are quite long, so this is to be easier for the reader to see what reply is related to which comment! :)

  14. Ri |

    N,

    Reading that made me restless again. It’s a restlessness I’ve been trying to ignore and nurture at the same time.

    What you’re saying is what I’ve been saying to those around me forever. THING BIG, THINK FREE!

    *kiss*

    Ri,
    You summed it up in four words! It can’t get better than that! ;D

  15. Kaos |

    Think Big and Think free I like that comment by Ri
    This room is your world and you have a chance to go beyond that.
    People don’t bother I think they either dont have the time or are not interested in finding new things out there.
    Change will happen, regardless of anyone’s preference to keep status quo.
    The best thing to do is to check alternative media and travel and meet the people out there
    Expand your mind and never limit it to what a certain entity is trying to feed into it. Get all the opinions out there and make your own gudgment.

    Kaos,
    You’re right about things changing. Change is the only true constant! Things will change regardless if we follow through with them or not.

  16. ammaro.com |

    great post.

    i love the room metaphor. seriously, just embrace change, because it will happen whether you like it or not. life changes, we deal with it.

    Ammar,
    Thanks, the metaphor was really to attract attention :p I thought people would get bored with simply a linear post. While embracing change, we can follow through as well. If change was a wave, we can surf and do wonderful things!

  17. desert-roses |

    seems I have to do it twice..ok..i post a commnt ..seemed I did in the wrong place..now i stare laughing.. :/…i didnt read i deserve it
    isnt it worthy? I mean to do it twice..I will write something here then go back to work…ok let me start…

    I liked the topic the way you deserved to be in my fave bloggers list…I have thoughts in mind..I don’t want to think how relevant they are..but this is how it feels…
    One precious friend told me once ” I live my reality and the others are guests”…this sentence came to me when I began reading ur topic…
    To me, Not all ppl can stop creating emotional connections to people they meet..like I do..I live for my heart beatings..physicaly and emotionaly..I can’t stop holding someone’s hand ..sharing with them thier happiness and saddness..yeah its hard..and I suffer alot…yet I believe I born for it…and I will stop when my heart stop feeling what any human infront of me…its my nature !!
    For average ppl change is the result of boredism or ceriousty…lets say its the dominant reason…does it go for smart ppl too??
    I find…smart ppl are seekers of knowledge..its thier motive to modify…knowledge in different aspects..mental, scientifical, social, emotional..etc..
    isn’t knowledge to discover new things?
    You know when you drive alone…all nite…and you feel free and the air crashing ur soul and your all…
    you feel so because it is your first time to meet the street in night alone..you didnt had driving liscene b4 on a hand and on the other one you didnt had a car too…
    Won’t you feel happy and free?….
    ur right…each one of us has his/her owm room..
    I would anaylize more of it, is that the true word to use? anaylize?.. :) …but i have to go

    desert-roses,
    That’s okay if you posted it in the wrong place! And welcome to my blog! Would hope to see you here more often :) Thanks for considering me that way, I’m honestly happy that you liked this post. It only means that the message I had is reaching out.

    Emotional connections with other people are like you said very important and it seems that for you, this is what makes you the way you are. And you’re so right about seekers of knowledge they can never be satisfied and can never stop, they always are curious. I wouldn’t say they are bored, maybe some of them, but they sure do enjoy to be searching for more! I remember that feeling, happy and free! It sure was the best feeling ever and that is how we should feel and try to experience more things and broaden our horizons! Thanks for the analysis and yes that is right! :)

  18. Amethyst |

    By far, this is my favorite post on your blog:) I absolutely love it! I am living the way I want to live. My life right now, since around two years ago is exactly the way I want it. El7emdillah. But I’m happy you posted this for those who need a reality check. Oh, and I hope I am able to give my children what my parents gave me: A chance to live my life the way I want it without losing their trust/respect.

    Amethyst,
    Thanks, I’m glad you really love this post! Maybe I should post more like it! :) El7emdellah, I’m happy you’re living the way you want to. And it really is a beautiful thing to wish to give your children the opportunity to live to the fullest! Ya36ech el 3afia!

  19. Navy Girl |

    dude !! i almost cried !! just for the thought of being locked in a room with absolutely nothing to do ! huh ! bs its a very good post n. !

    i do agree with you though .. i’ve always felt as if this whole world is just one community people are all the same from all around the world .. bs seriously n. just do whatever you wana to do oo have fun :D thats what whole life is about ! enjoy it while you can :)

    Navy Girl,
    Umm thanks, OK That wasn’t meant to make you cry! But at least I’m glad you like it :) Enjoy it while you can, that is so true! A lot of people chose to not enjoy it now, like work is somehow supposed to be painful.. but that is not totally true it doesn’t have to be painful and annoying.

  20. Marzouq |

    I read the top and I read the bottom and everyone’s comments are huge! so then I read through it!

    The thing is I always try to change something up in my routine to make sure to try something new. On another note I think being content to certain degree is a gift from god. The best part is having aspirations and goals, aiming high to be different yet being content is important! :)

    Just got to balance things out!

    Marzouq,
    Yep! Aiming high is crucial. Some people no not do that, and there is no reason not to. And you’re right, most of the contentment is a gift from God el7emdellah!

  21. Vixen |

    you know what strikes me as interesting? is the fact that if there was no television, no idea of another place, one would probably settle in that grey room for a long time. I know many will disagree, but you prove my point by saying that we embrace the idea of change when we see another option, or know it exists. For all we know, this earth could be our grey walled room.
    it’s a great post : )

    Vixen,
    Are you implying that there are aliens our there or another inhibitble planet? It is true that people would have to settle for that grey room because they wouldn’t even know that there is another option, so they would have to adapt. However, once we realise that there is the option of something else, we try desperatly try to find out more about it. Like in space for example. Scientists are searching and spending billions and billions of dollars on finding out more about the planets the stars etc. Thanks! :)

  22. Chirp |

    Your right on the spot! Seriously change is scary, and once you get used to that little gray room your too scared to change the paint in the room.

    Chirp,
    It is scary, but that should be a risk we are willing to take. If people were too afraid to take risks nothing would get done!

  23. Amethyst |

    No problem, and yes, post more like this;p Allah Y3afeek. Remind me to e-mail you something about “The Other”.

    Amethyst,
    I got the e-mail thanks! I haven’t replied because I’m still reading the attachment you sent! :)

  24. palo-girl |

    Wow
    Wow
    Wow
    Wow

    Seriously a m a z i n g postttt!!!!!!
    This is exactly what Ive been thinking about lately. We’re working on the same wavelenth ;p
    But no way I could’ve written it half as well as you.

    Wow

    palo-girl,
    ^_^
    They say great minds think alike! I’m starting to believe this more and more lool!

  25. Angelo |

    Brilliant post. Very philosophical and psychological.

    I think with a respectable amount of support, physical boundaries can be conquered easily. However, both mental and emotional boundaries aren’t external and sometimes we suppress those boundaries until they are longer boundaries.

    Personally, I think the one feature of a healthy sense of self is the way we understand and work with our emotional boundaries. Such boundaries come from having a good sense of our own self-worth. They make it possible for us to separate our own thoughts and feelings from those of others and to take responsibility for what we think, feel and do. However, unhealthy boundaries are generally a result of being raised in dysfunctional families where maturation and the individuation process was not properly understood nor the child respected as an individual. Thus, family can play an important aspect in creating good and bad boundaries.

    Angelo,
    In our current society, would there mostly be a healthy process of growing up, and thus the balance of good and bad boundaries are common? I would like to hope that that is general and most common. However, I’d like to really know if in fact a person does not grow up in a healthy environment, how difficult would it be for them to adjust to the social norm of accepting a reality of both good and bad boundaries, and thus understanding limits and responsibilities on a general scale. This, hopefully, would be the path which could take a person to explore their own abilities and truly explore their capabilities!

  26. Touch |

    The lightening doesn’t strike twice in the same spot and it seems that you keep striking with intriguing posts.

    A very well written and articulated post (ain’t a first)

    Apart from the fact that its been a motivating post and nicely put together, I enjoyed the responses as much as I enjoyed the post.

    P.S.
    I couldn’t help but to notice that you’ve put lots of thinking into this post and you can’t escape the passion within. Feels like genuinely written from the heart.

    P.P.S.
    It seems that I’ve forgotten to respond as well. Well, indeed what you’ve mentioned is totally valid, but what about time and adjusting to surroundings? When you stay for too long in that room, you may find that it suits you the best and indeed it has what you need. What if you spend too long in that room and instead of facing all the boundaries you’ve mentioned, you still have to carry with you the result of those years spent trying to cope the gray room.

    I know it’s never too late to start and it’s all in the head but sometimes it doesn’t payoff the sacrifice.

    So basically, when it comes down to it, one should weigh things up and acts accordingly. Keep the spontaneity and live it fully while aiming for the stars but always remember to be grounded.

    Touch,
    Thank you, to tell you the truth. My inspiration if from reading all what you have to write about. And you, though your posts are rare they are enjoyable, much more so than me writing this! :D I don’t believe I deserve that much praise, but thank you, I shall accept it humbly!

    You bring up a great point, which is adjustment! I did talk a lot about space, and forgot time all together! Sure. The fact that we may adjust would make it harder to adapt to a new place. However, with everything new, it takes time to get used to it. Being born something does not constitute that we have to be that for the rest of our lives. I believe that we are born in places, and born in a social status that will be our starting point. If we do not move from there then we have not taken the chance in our lives to do anything. The most natural route would be to follow those who were there before us, most probably our parents. That is one of many paths available, just because it is known in a way does not make it less safer than any other path. The unavailability of knowledge is fear, and that may hinder a person’s judgment to pursue and here is where a change in paradigm must happen. The person must have faith and move forward!

    Life is an experience, without risks, it would not be so.

  27. N. |

    I would honestly like to thank you all again for your beautiful comments! I have enjoyed reading and replying to all of them. This has got to be my most favorite interaction with all of you! :)

Reserved, going to add something here later.