N. | One Or The Other

This is a long and personal post, you’ve been warned. :)

I never used to get easily pissed off. I remember myself always being the optimist. Always being happy and smiling. I even remember I used to smile so much people used to think there was something going on.

All of that was a long time ago, around 10 years or more. When I think of it, I wonder how I transformed over the years.

Recently however, the worst transformation is my temper! Okay so I don’t go around breaking things, or starting fights, or swearing and cussing or even shouting.. but it is there. Of course the experts always say keeping emotions bottled in isn’t a good thing, maybe I shouldn’t. I’m afraid I might explode though if I do let a shred of that anger out!

Instead, what do I usually do? Obviously there are those whom I care about, and having a bad temper doesn’t help anyone really. Currently I do control it, and try to figure out what it is that is bothering me so much. I try to put myself in a different perspective. I do not make excuses for others but I do ask myself why does this particular thing make me feel this way. When I do that, and really think about it I figure out how tiny this thing is. It seems clear that this thing that I am so pissed about is so small and is not worth all this emotion!

Oh, and even when something *seems* worth getting pissed over, it *really* isn’t.. only because of context and the bigger picture. If you’ve asked yourself over and over and you still couldn’t figure out how to make something not bother you, then step back.. and think again because there is always a way. I know it to the point that most of the time I start to surprise myself!

Note: The world is one big soup bowl. You either enjoy it, or drown in it.

I went to Mothana this evening to check out a couple of books on personality types. They didn’t have what I was looking for but it was a pain to go through the books in the first place, do you know why?





I had to shake my head a few times to get my eyes back in place. Next thing I know I was leaving the parking lot, and there comes the never ending spiral up up and away!

I don’t enjoy when I ask for support and end up knowing more about the issue than the person I am calling. When I call customer support I expect to be the user, the customer. I expect to be given a quality service and assistance promptly and with efficiency.

However, when it turns out that I have to explain to the support people that I actually know what I’m talking about, and that they don’t have to simplify and use bogus terms to explain a technical concept, I start to lose faith in such employees. Especially that after I demonstrate the fact that I do know much more about the issue at hand than they expect, they still talk to me as if I know nothing about what the problem is and what I want from them.

P.S.