N. | One Or The Other

Every time I look at someone, I pass judgement - quickly and swiftly, and most likely unconsciously as well. I can’t help but analyze what the person is wearing, doing, and even who he/she is with. I examine their surroundings and establish a basic stereotypical judgement. However because I have been taught better, I do not act alone based on these preconceptions. Instead, I slowly eliminate these identifiers that allowed me to think that way. Slowly, but surly I see in front of me, a man, or a woman just like any other person.

Still, whatever I decide to do with my preconceptions, does not change the truth and reality about a person, or situation. A person may be proud of themselves for being a certain color, or of a certain race - with or without arrogance. Would I truly be doing him/her justice by making them equal to everyone else? To better understand this, it would make sense to define equality.

Ms. Dorman, a 9th Grade American History teacher defines equality on her web site as:

The condition of possessing substantially the same rights, privileges and immunities, and being substantially responsible for the same duties as other members of society.

I can’t help but come to the conclusion, that we cannot all be equal, except with regards to the law, even then some laws might apply to some, and not to others.

We are still all very different. We take pride in who we are and where we come from. I don’t see racism as calling someone black, or white, or red, or yellow. I see racism as oppression of these attributes. If I belittle someone, regardless of color, gender, social status, then that is racism.

Now, I do not see people as the same anymore, or equal in every way. I see them as being different and unique, and recognize the pride they have in who they are, where they are from, and what they’re all about. Solving the issues of racism shouldn’t erase our social identities, but rather enforce our pride, without arrogance in who and what we are.

Popularity: 36% [?]

This past weekend I went to see Iron Man with a couple of friends. I was out at a coffee shop before our meeting and had my laptop with me. I arrived at the mall before my friends did so I chilled at another cafe with my laptop, and I started working.

The night started to get exciting when I went to pray. There I was, walking in the mall, with my somewhat strange looking backpack. I felt uneasy, people were there to have a good time and do whatever it is they do, and there I was with my backpack, walking, in the mall.

I didn’t pay much attention to it, until I started getting stares. They were stares of fear. Why? - I wondered why would people fear a guy with a backpack, walking, in a mall, full of people, on Friday night. Wait a minute. Do they think I have a bomb in my bag? Oops.

People cleared my way as  I walked, their casual walk was turned into quick pacing. They walked passed me in slow  motion, whispering to each other I can only see their lips move, mouthing the word “bomb..” and “oh my God”. I tried not to pay too much attention and tried to look normal, as I normally would. I couldn’t, with all the pressure of staring eyes.

I tried to distract myself.

I took out my mobile to check the time, phone calls, etc. As I took it out, I heard gasps! What happened now! - I thought. Oh no, don’t we always hear about the bombs being triggered by cell phones? Crap, I just made it worse. The environment around me got very uncomfortable, I put on a crooked smile, and continued walking to the prayer room.

It only got worse as I left the prayer room. Here I thought people would assume I had prayed my final prayer, and was ready to disintegrate myself and everyone around me. There were moments where I felt people were going to jump me, and tie me down to stop me from such an action.

P.S. Events and actions my have been exaggerated. Just a bit. A little bit. Tiny bit.

Popularity: 36% [?]

An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone, and drained by being with other people. Sometimes Introverts are thought of as being shy, although that may be true, that is not necessarily always the case. Being an introvert only means that you appreciate your alone time and chose to be alone to regain your energy and stabilize yourself before going to a group of people. Extroverts are the opposite: they are energized when they are with groups of people and their energy is drained when alone.

Poll Question: Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Please participate and vote on the right. Thank you!

Our culture in Kuwait is an extremely social culture due to the small size of the country and population. There is always someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows probably everyone. Families are also large, and some families are also very well connected because of family and marriage ties.

When we consider these facts, we realize that mostly no week goes by without some family occasion. These occasions are sometimes weekly, or appear suddenly; a cousin getting married, a baby being born, a nephew graduating, someone passes away, someone is sick, someone leaves the country, someone comes back from a trip, a celebration, an anniversary, and the list goes on.

I have noticed that introverts are mostly misunderstood. They prefer to be alone so the extroverts (and misinformed introverts) see them as anti-social. They criticize their behavior as wrong and that people should always interact with others when given the choice and should never turn down an invitation. To an extrovert, this may sound like heaven, but to an introvert, especially one who values his or her rejuvenation time would see this itself as energy-draining. Just the thought of meeting and talking to all those people for hours on end.. has got me out of energy to complete this post! *tehee*.

A person is usually born an introvert or an extrovert, it is not a choice. This has to be considered by parents who find their children behaving in that way. When a child chooses to not want to participate with other groups it does not mean the kid is being stubborn, generally at least. It is perfectly normal and being social is not about being around people, it is mostly about being connected to those people in some way or other.

Popularity: 54% [?]

In part 1 of this series I only opened up with a question for all to answer. The question was: Has foreign labor affected our country negatively? I do admit, I got some very positive feedback from everyone. I thank you all very much!

Many of you mentioned that the topic of foreign labor is very large. We cannot talk about every aspect of this topic in detail and hope to reach some positive outcome in the end. I picked the issue of responsibility for today, as I believe it is one of the most important effects of foreign labor in our community.

I thought about why most people do not like to work here. Why do they prefer to take the easy way and have someone else do it for them, or do a very poor job and be OK with that. I came to the conclusion that these people do not understand the importance of their work, and the repercussions it has on society as a whole.

Where does this lack of responsibility and accountability come from? There are a couple of ways a person can end up that way, and I have developed a theory. I could be wrong, I could be right; this is only my personal opinion.

When we start to import foreign labor and depend on foreign workers to do our jobs, we become at ease. We start to enjoy living a casual life, and become dependent on these foreign laborers. How do you think a small child would act and think when he sees that his parents depend so much on a maid or a driver to do their work?

You might say, “…but there are rich people who have servants do everything for them!” These rich people are known to be strict to force their children to learn about responsibility, and accountability while still enjoying a regular life full of servants and drivers who do a lot of their work for them.

This is evident when you go to a government bureau. Who knows what everything is, and how things need to be done? It is usually the tea guy, the farrash (janitor), or the courier. These employees are paid low wages, and they know how everything is done because they are the ones who are doing most of the work*.

The problem revolves around the dependency on foreign labor. We can see this when we compare ourselves to the west. — pause. I said we can compare ourselves to the west, but that would probably turn off a lot of people who think, “Why do you want to be like USA… All the Kuwaitis want to be modern and westernized.” Fine then, let us compare ourselves to how we used to be in the older days.

People lived simple lived, in simple homes. Everyone in the house had a job to do and men were men, women were women. Regardless of the question of equality, everyone had their own responsibilities and they developed that since they were young. They only depended on themselves, and the idea of being responsible and accountable for their actions grew in them.

These people grew up to be responsible people. They grew to be people who had done some hard work earning a living. For those who were at home, they cleaned and cooked on their own. They knew when something had to be done; it had to be done right.

You may wonder if this is going to be it. Am I just going to stop here and finish complaining? That is not all, I have thought of a solution. Again, this is my personal opinion.

How can we learn to be more responsible, and how can we raise a more responsible generation? Is the answer to exile all the foreign workers? No. There are two main influential parts of society that have to take a role in this solution. The families and the government.

The families need to teach their children about responsibility. They themselves might find it hard, but they must learn and must teach their children. You can teach by giving chores, by recognizing hard work and encouraging working together, for a better good (in this case, the betterment of the situation at home for example.)

The families need to limit the roles and responsibilities of the laborers. You can’t have the worker do every single thing for you. You have to be the role model; you have to get up and go get your own things. You’d have to do your own work, especially if you want it done right and done your way.

The government has to enforce accountability and responsibility from the top down through its own hierarchy. They have to teach their employees that every single paper in a file is important. Losing that document is not an option.

They have to preserve the rights of people. When there is a sense of responsibility and accountability there is a natural inclination to deciding what is best for the country as a whole, and not make decisions based on personal affiliations, or personal grudges against others in the community.

Again, I wish to clarify that this is a personal opinion. This is not based on any research, or scientific data, but the science of my mind and what I see and hear. I would hope, and pray that the situation does get better in this country. I am doing what I can, by speaking my mind and putting this out there in hopes that those of you can learn something or see something from a different perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this very long post! God bless you all!

* I understand this is not true to all agencies, but this is an opinion of a lot of public offices and ministries.

Popularity: 75% [?]

This isn’t about my imaginary girlfriend’s boy friend, rather about the idea of a spouse or a partner who has friends of the opposite gender. I was talking with a friend about this topic and she said she would want her partner to accept her male friends.

What about you? Would you accept your girlfriend’s boy friends? Would you accept your boyfriend’s girl friends?

If you are or when you do get married. Will things change as well? Will you accept your wife’s male friends? Would you accept your husband’s female friends?

If your answer is to accept but with limitations, then what are these limitations?

If you would refuse, why would you refuse and how would you let your friends know you can’t be friends with them, or what would you do?

Popularity: 61% [?]

Question: Are you traveling this Eid or New Year, or both? I know there is a long way between both vacations but I’m sure expats who have left for Christmas or are planning to leave soon will be gone until after the New Year (please take me with you). What are your plans?

As I was driving to work this morning, I passed by what was obviously a burning car. I can only assume that the people in the car have fled the scene and were getting some help.

I was very tempted to stop and get the fire extinguisher out of my car and use it, however there was no way to get to the burning car without obscuring the current path I was in.

What shook me was that there wasn’t ANYONE who was standing there using some type of fire extinguisher to put out the fire! Wasn’t it required by law that every car have one? How long has this car been burning already? I’m sure it has been at least burning for five minutes, I could see the flames from the opposite light!

I’m slowly beginning to believe that in a time of crises, people would flee rather than help, which is a very very sad thought.

Popularity: 57% [?]

Me: Aloo
Her: Aloo, El Akh Nasser … (Is this Nasser…)
Me: Hala (Yes)
Her: Ma3ak sharekat el wataniya leletesalat. (This is Wataniya Telecom Company.)
Me: Ee Hala. (Yes, Hello)
Her: 3endena 3arth 3ala el Internet 3endena, etha momken akheth dedeega men wagtek, aw mash’3ool? (We have an Internet offer, do you have a minute to spare or are you busy?)
Me: La hala tefathely. (No, go ahead.)
Her: Blah Blah.. (Ougha Bouga..)
Me: Blah Blah.. (Ougha Bouga..)
Her: T7eb teshterek weyana fe hatha el 3arth? (Would you like to subscribe to this offer?)
Me: Al7een el wagt maynasebny, yemken 3ala el sena el yededa. (Now is not a suitable time, maybe at the beginning of the new year.)
Her: Eh *sounds a little sad* el 3areth yentehy 3ala 31/12, akeed mat7eb teshterek weyana? (Oh *sounds a little sad* The offer expires on the 31/12, are you sure you wouldn’t like to subscribe with us?)
Me: La walla sam7eny, 7aleyan magdar. (No, sorry, I can’t at this time.)
Her: OK, shakratlek – (Ok, Thank you –)
Me: Mashkoora. (Thank you.)
Her: El3afo 7abeeby. (You’re welcome, darling (love, sweetheart, *insert similar term here*))
Me: Bye.

Some of you may consider this normal, I assure you it wasn’t. I think she noticed in the end she said 7abeeby, and her voice trailed off before I said bye! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud!

P.S. Never use your own breath to blow up an inflatable bed! You’ll pass out! :/

P.S.S. For those who haven’t voted yet, there’s a new poll on the right. You can chose more than one answer.

Popularity: 46% [?]

I went out with a couple of friend for dinner on Friday, then we went to Raya mall for ice cream. Now, here’s something you should know. My friend is TALL, and I am SHORT. As we walked to find a table, ALL eyes were on us like we were some freaks, and indeed we were.

P.S. Drawing style inspired by Laialy. I would have scanned an actual drawing but I don’t have a working scanner.

Popularity: 60% [?]

Warning: Crude content ahead.

What does it take a person to have his privacy. The bathroom at work has a window that overlooks souq sharq. There are no curtains or shutters up on the 7th floor, why should there be? I had just finished cleaning up when I hear a strange whirring sound. I didn’t mind it thinking it has to be something with the aircondtioning.

I felt safe, in my sanctuary. I felt at peace with the world. I got up to get dressed and there he was staring at me through the window! What the heck! I stood there shocked! I was speechless, and motionless. The man was moving lower, and I see behind him cables and equiptment. He’s working on the outter part of the building.

I can’t imagine what they do when they reach the lower floors because some are women’s bathrooms other are mens bathrooms depending on the floor number. Honestly, did they really have to put the construction elevator next to the bathroom windows!

Popularity: 53% [?]

Question: What is your strongest sense? What do you notice the most when you experience things with your senses. Vote on the right please! Thank you.

The idea wasn’t to get a lot of people to drop by really. It was centered around the idea of saying something totally obscene and misleading [link removed] and finding out how people would react to it. Turns you all have good sportsmanship. Give yourselves a pat on the back! I have also noticed that also a lot more people participated in the polls. Why, I can’t be sure. Maybe people prefer to participate in the polls more than leave a comment. However thank you to all who contributed. Welcome singles, forever free.

Now, on to more pressing matters. Last week there were a few people (Joud, Mark, and Chikapappi) who posted about their traffic violations and how ridicules some of their fines have become. Mine are a bit over 350 KD.  I have however a strategy that has been working for a while, that might help you as well to avoid the cameras.

After a little conversation my brother and I were having he gave me the idea to literally flag the cameras in my car’s GPS system. Being the loyal citizen that I am, I have gone around and flagged A LOT of cameras, I didn’t count how many, but here is a picture. Keep in mind that this picture is not complete and this is only part of Kuwait. Click on a picture for a better view.

I have also been enjoying immensely my carrot and orange cocktail juice.  However, this time I gulped the whole thing down before getting into my work clothes.

P.S. I changed my clothes in the car while driving on the fifth ring road. What a rush!

Popularity: 67% [?]